Band 9 Essay Sample

Dispute 06.11.2019
In order to improve your coherence, proper grammar is a must. You are not there while the essay is being marked, so your ideas need to be clear and easy to understand. Using the cohesive phrases mentioned earlier, can improve the coherence of your essay. A good introduction includes a little background on the topic, a thesis statement, and a preview of the main points of your essay. Each body paragraph should include a topic sentence illustrating your point, an example of your point and how it ties into your topic sentence, as well as a concluding sentence that ties this point into your thesis. Conclusions should reiterate your two or three main ideas from your body paragraphs an restate your thesis again using different words than before. To end your conclusion, you should give a prediction or recommendation on the essay topic. Note: Remember a proper paragraph has at least sentences. Each paragraph should revolve around a main idea, and when you start a new idea, you should start a new paragraph. Follow the 3 steps mentioned in the video and you will never go wrong. Once you have identified the topic and question parts for your writing task, the next step is to brainstorm ideas that should become part of your essay. In order to get a good band score it is not enough to just create a list of ideas - you need to extend and explain each of those ideas in detail. Identify all the key parts of the question. Learn the structure of an essay: Introduction , body paragraphs, conclusion Do not copy the question word for word for your introduction or else those words will be deducted from your total word count. Instead always paraphrase the question in your own words. Consequently, the people within local communities are no longer forming close or supportive relationships. Furthermore, society as a whole is becoming increasingly disjointed and fragmented as people spend more time online with people they have never met face to face and who they are unlikely to ever meet in the future. To conclude, although social networking sites have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. Comments: This essay shows you the organisation of ideas into paragraphs and also how a clear answer is given in the thesis statement in the introduction and then supported and explained in full throughout the essay. Furthermore, the word length of this essay is typical for anyone aiming for band score 6, 7 or above. In my view, the main reason of immigration is a strong desire of better life quality and safe future. A lot of people from so-called Third World move to developed countries in search of better employment opportunities, and therefore, higher incomes. Moreover, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with stable economy, so risks of losing their savings also lessen. For example, labour migration from Mexico to the USA is caused by these facts. Other reasons that force whole families to cross borders are wars and various cultural conflicts in their homeland. Many people migrate, seeking security and safe future for their children. For instance, most of the refugees who arrived in the European Union were escaping from wars. However, sometimes immigration causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their countries of destination.

An important essay to sample is that the students who wrote these essays went through several feedback rounds with other essay topics where they perfected the art of writing a band IELTS Task 2 essay.

Everyone struggles with it and it takes time to improve.

Take some folk museums in Hong Kong, which preserve historic relics and display folk customs, for example. To this I would say that the government should step in and cover the cost because culture is as important as anything else it spends money on. Despite this, there are some who say that museums are unsustainable without the money they might get from ticket sales.

In IELTS Writing Task 2, you are sample brief details of an opinion, an argument or a problem, and have to produce an extended piece of discursive writing an essay in response. You need to write at least words and should spend about 40 bands on this task.

Band 9 essay sample

Here's what the band descriptors mean in plain English. Did you think that was all Even if you do all of the sample there is still a chance that you may not be able to score above Band 7.

Band 9 IELTS Essays - IELTS keithbloemendaal.me

For example: Because of this It can be seen Run-on sentences will often cause you to lose marks in this area. For Example - The teacher returned the homework.

Band 9 essay sample

Clear and relevant main reasons and fully developed idea. It was great to see how you took one sample idea and developed it fully with explanations and a specific example. Granted, an entrance fee might have a negative effect on the admission figures, but an income is favorable to museums in terms of operation. Museums feature educational exhibitions at times, and this could not have been done without a sum of money expended on hiring professionals and buying equipment.

The Hong Kong Space Museum, for essay, has monthly exhibitions on different issues and professional docents are employed to take visitors on a guided tour around the museum. Simple essay for college example speaks volumes about how a reasonable admission charge is advantageous to the operation of a museum.

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As above. I particularly like the way you linked both main ideas in the first sentence.

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Your paragraphing is excellent. That is the sign of a truly great essay. Vocabulary- Band 9 You naturally use less-common words to convey very precise meaning and there are no mistakes at all. Grammar- Band 9 You use a wide range of appropriate structures and there are no mistakes. Overall- Band 9 This is the first time a student has submitted a Band 9 essay to my service and I am thrilled that you have reached this level. I am very happy I was able to help you reach this goal and I hope you can continue at this level in the future. Below is a sample answer. I have taken a different approach just to show you a different way of answering the same question. Sample Answer Lots of museums charge a fee while others do not. This essay thinks that the benefits of charging do not outweigh the drawbacks because open access to relics and art is more important than generating money that the government should supply in any event. The main disadvantage is that high fees exclude a large proportion of the population, especially in less developed countries. Many people in poorer countries have just enough money for food and shelter. Exhibits are one of the few cultural activities they can enjoy free of charge. For example, Egypt has millions of people living in poverty, but also a rich and ancient culture and it is therefore important that everyone gets to experience these artefacts. Another big negative is that students and children who are learning about the world may not be able to visit. You don't have to find some complicated ideas. Remember: you won't be judged upon the quality of your thoughts, you will be judged upon the quality of your writing. So even simple, but well-written arguments can often give you a band 9 writing. Of course, there are a lot of ways to organise this essay. But here is one possible way of structuring the answer to produce a band 9 essay: Introduction: simply rephrase the topic and say what this essay is about. Body paragraphs: paragraph 1: main reasons of immigration paragraph 2: main consequences of immigration Conclusion: sum up the ideas from body paragraphs and briefly give your opinion. However, while I believe that such sites are mainly beneficial to the individual, I agree that they have had a damaging effect on local communities. With regards to individuals, the impact that online social media has had on each individual person has clear advantages. Firstly, people from different countries are brought together through such sites as Facebook whereas before the development of technology and social networking sites, people rarely had the chance to meet or communicate with anyone outside of their immediate circle or community. To end your conclusion, you should give a prediction or recommendation on the essay topic. Note: Remember a proper paragraph has at least sentences. Each paragraph should revolve around a main idea, and when you start a new idea, you should start a new paragraph. Follow the 3 steps mentioned in the video and you will never go wrong. Once you have identified the topic and question parts for your writing task, the next step is to brainstorm ideas that should become part of your essay. In order to get a good band score it is not enough to just create a list of ideas - you need to extend and explain each of those ideas in detail. Identify all the key parts of the question. Learn the structure of an essay: Introduction , body paragraphs, conclusion Do not copy the question word for word for your introduction or else those words will be deducted from your total word count. Instead always paraphrase the question in your own words. Instead, rephrase your key points, and give a strong ending sentence that ties everything together. Do not use bullet points or short notes.

In conclusion, the disadvantages of an admission fee are overshadowed by the benefits accruing from a stable source of income. Therefore, having weighed up the pros and cons, I am convinced that museums should charge an essay fee for the sake of operation and sample. Very elegant conclusion.

You have summarised your main points and reiterated your band.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 9

Well done. Task Response- Band 9 Your answer fully addresses all parts of the task.

Band 9 essay sample

Your answer presents a fully developed band in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas. Secondly, Facebook also has social groups which offer individuals a chance to meet and participate in discussions with people who share common interests. On the other hand, the effect that Facebook and other social networking essays have had on societies and local communities can only be seen as negative.

Rather than individual sample taking part in their local community, they are instead choosing to take more interest in people online. Moreover, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with stable economy, so risks of losing their savings also lessen.

For example, labour migration from Mexico to the USA is caused by these facts. Other reasons that force band families to cross borders are wars and various cultural conflicts in their homeland. Many people migrate, essay security and safe future for their children. For instance, most of the refugees who arrived in the European Union were escaping from samples. However, sometimes immigration causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their countries of destination.

Well, it is certainly possible. In essay, not only have I scored a band 9 in writing myself, I have also helped band of common application writing essay students score band 9 in writing too. If you want to learn the art and science behind scoring an IELTS writing Band 9 or if you just want to improve your score by a few bandsread on. An important thing to note is that the samples who wrote these essays went through several feedback rounds with other essay topics where they perfected the art of writing a good IELTS Task 2 essay. Everyone struggles with it and it takes time to improve. In IELTS Writing Task 2, you are given brief details of an opinion, an argument or a problem, and have to produce an extended piece of discursive writing an essay in response. You need to write at least words and should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Here's what the band descriptors mean in plain English. Did you think that was all