This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode " Procrastination " from season two , which aired on November 30 , Version 1 Early Mrs. Puff: Okay, class, quiet, quiet.
Now get out your pencil and paper and write down the assignment. We get an assignment! Puff: Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight. What not to do at a stoplight? Puff: In no less than words! SpongeBob: Yeah, I know! Puff: Due tomorrow. And remember, class: work hard and no goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper.
Even more important than the paper is [holds up a pencil] the pencil. A pencil as sharp or as dull as I like. To do. Hey, this is easy! By SpongeBob SquarePants. This essay is pure gold! And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff because here we go! Several hours pass and has still only written 8 words] Gee, this is harder than I thought There is a carnival.
Squidward is suntanning. A boy is eating ice cream. Jellyfish are playing tennis. Gary is riding on a ball and playing a horn. But I must press onward, because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! Cut back to SpongeBob] Oh, yeah. This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only 6 o'clock! I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? While doing it, he recites Hup Ho several times.
His nose and eyelashes do the same thing. He does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. He then laughs] Huh? What am I doing?! I've gotta write that paper! Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you let ol' SpongeBob fix you up something to eat? SpongeBob: What do you mean you're not hungry?
SpongeBob: I know I have an essay to write! Now come on, Gary! Or, or some chocolate-flavored algae bits? I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen.
I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places, too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. Why that didn't take too long The true genius of "Hooky" lies in this nuanced perspective. Yes, the hooks are a real and dangerous threat; Patrick even ends up in a can of tuna at the very end of the episode. But the fact is that Mr. The episode begins with Mr. Krabs the quintessential greedy boss injuring himself in an attempt to save a nickel from going down the drain.
This leaves Squidward the frustrated employee in charge for the day. I love the way this episode emphasizes the differences between Spongebob and Squidward. On one hand, Spongebob is the perfect employee from Mr. Squidward on the other hand, is Mr. But Spongebob comes out on top time and time again. His vivacious personality and optimistic spirit enable him to savor every moment of his minimum-wage drudgery. Instead of lamenting that Squidward has placed the entire workload on him, Spongebob rejoices because he gets to wear two hats for the day instead of one.
Squidward, of course, is miserable even when he is in charge of things. Even when he tries to relax at home, he is tormented by the possibility that Spongebob will destroy the Krusty Krab if left to his own devices.
Although he outwardly hates Mr. He soon discovers that all of his possessions are conspiring against him to prevent the completion of his work. Their interference results in the immolation of his house, which begs SpongeBob as it burns to stop wasting time. Finally waking up from his nightmare, SpongeBob looks first at his woefully incomplete essay, then at the clock, marking five minutes before class time. In desperation, he suddenly realizes that everything he did up to that point was something that should not be done at a stoplight, and so he quickly writes it all down to fulfill the word requirement.
Excitedly bringing the finished essay to school, SpongeBob finds the classroom empty. Puff arrives and explains that she tried to call SpongeBob to give him an update. Due to a teacher's convention she must attend, Mrs.
Puff has canceled the assignment and will instead take the class on a field trip the following week to see a stoplight. Left behind with his grin frozen in place, SpongeBob rips his essay in half before he splits himself in half.
SpongeBob exercising This scene was removed on some airings due to SpongeBob's nose moving up and down in a rather obscene way.The clock spins, breaks, and comes to life] Clock: [ghostly voice] Time's up, SpongeBob He then rips himself]. Patrick: Sleeping. How about some calisthenics? To do. SpongeBob: I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary.
In fact, when Spongebob finally does find himself hooked, it is at the hands of Mr.
Despite the fact that Spongebob and Patrick ride the hooks countless times during the episode, neither of them is ever hauled to the surface, served with a side of mayonnaise, or even worse!
Several hours pass and has still only written 8 words] Gee, this is harder than I thought Puff: Oh, there you are, SpongeBob. This leaves Squidward the frustrated employee in charge for the day. SpongeBob: [gasps the candle melts] Fire Wick: Only words to go! When SpongeBob attempts to engage in small talk, the mailman cuts him off and tells him to get back to writing.
Mailfish: Package for Mr. Even worse is that nobody else cares enough about Squidward to come looking for him. Squidward is suntanning. Puff: Oh, there you are, SpongeBob. This leaves Squidward the frustrated employee in charge for the day. What not to do at a stoplight?
But Spongebob also offers us a message of hope and redemption. SpongeBob: [gasps the candle melts] Burning! SpongeBob: [runs out the door] Stop Pants, you get back here this instant! I know!
All that choking sure made me hungry. Why didn't you just write your essay? SpongeBob: Here you go, Mrs. And now pencil, get ready to do your stuff because here we go! I'm choking!
Now come on, Gary. Well I guess a P. I gotta have my brain food!
And remember class: work hard and no goofing off. Patrick: Polo.
Puff's Boating School , SpongeBob's class receives an assignment for an word essay on what not to do at a stoplight, due the following morning. All words!
Here it is!
All of the usual symptoms are there: sleep deprivation, delusions, a fascination with the mundane, spontaneous house fires… the list goes on. Let's see, only words to go The episode begins with Mr.
Stop wasting time! SpongeBob: [gasps and stammers] That is-that is not true! While doing it, he recites Hup Hoo several times] I can feel those juices pumpin' now! SpongeBob: You get up here! Despite the fact that Spongebob and Patrick ride the hooks countless times during the episode, neither of them is ever hauled to the surface, served with a side of mayonnaise, or even worse! But Spongebob comes out on top time and time again.